I wrote this post 3 weeks into the walk, while I was writing it I needed to tell myself why I was doing it. Being on a pilgrimage is hard work, it’s not a fun and easy vacation. Pilgrimage taxes you physically and mentally. When I wrote this post I was exhausted from getting bitten by mosquitoes constantly in the forest, physically exhausted from all the ups and downs of hills, learning to be on the road with my hubby and learning to deal with unsavory experiences.
I didn’t want to publish the post as I was confused and didn’t know what I wanted to do. I felt like quitting and going home. I didn’t have desire to even rent a car and see some places. I wanted to be home with my puppy. I called the airlines, I called friends and I even checked work email. Doing everything else seemed better than getting up another day and walking or traveling.
I fell a few times, even though the fall itself was not bad my ego was bruised. I kept thinking why am I falling so much, that too on flat pavement not even the hills. After giving it a good cry and sleeping in the hotel for a whole day without coming out I was ready for another day of walking.
It was scary to tackle a mountain, I had doubts if I can make it and sometimes I didn’t want to go down the mountain. I was scared of ascents and descents. I was scared of not finding a place to sleep and I didn’t cope well with people being unfriendly. Though they were not doing it on purpose, it’s a different culture.
I missed my friends, my puppy and my warm home.
I questioned my decision to take a walk everyday sometimes every hour
Here it goes ………
I am realizing I am indecisive or I am affected by too many choices and have difficulty choosing.
I am thinking why did I spend all this money and time to go on a long walk ?
Why not stay in good hotels , enjoy a massage and great cuisine Norway has to offer and tour around ?
I am not sure …..
While I walk everyday I think wouldn’t it be awesome to go to Jotunheimen or Ålesund or lofoten islands. Why am I doing this ? Walking on the roads , forests and farms looking like a hobo withouthygeine.
I am not sure ……
I love a good walk, it gives me time to think, decompress, slow down and be present.
I always doubt my intentions when I am on the walk, I doubt whether I have the strength to finish and I doubt if I should do something else instead of this.
I guess there always better things to do with your time and money at any given point of time, it’s being present and enjoying what you are doing at that moment of time gives peace.
Simple paths , solutions and routines provide happiness.
I had numerous reasons to go on this walk
To get away from my life back home for awhile
To spend time with my husband without distractions
To reflect on life
To have space to be myself
To become fitter by taking care of my body physically and mentally